she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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