last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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