My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
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