he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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