So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
