I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
