my mouth tastes like poor choices
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize