shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
