You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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