I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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