They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize