it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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