Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize