Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i may or may not be watching the land before time
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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