I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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