last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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