I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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