Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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