One girl and one boy is just not enough.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
