omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize