the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
