just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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