Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
