so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
