you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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