Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
