i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
