I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize