so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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