you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
