Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
