I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Two words: blizzard sex
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize