The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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