I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
