oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
