The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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