yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
