Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
