driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
