would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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