that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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