Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
