I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize