Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize