walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
