So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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