Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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