My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
