some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
