...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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