if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
