I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
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