So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
