good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
