Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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