if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize
