NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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