WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
