Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
